Aunt Planning Wedding Supports Non-Binary Nibling, Draws Ire of Their Parents

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Extreme-Break-6638 10 hours ago 2 2 19 24 3 26 92 AITA for telling my soon-to-be niece that she doesn't need to wear a dress to my wedding? I (32f) am getting married to my fiancé (41m) next year. After we got engaged, I suggested it might be nice if I asked my fiancé's niece (who's 15) if she wanted to be a bridesmaid too. I've only met her a couple of times, so we're not close, but she seemed like a cool kid and I thought it might be a nice way for us to bond/ get to know ea
  • 02
    Font - Anyway, cut to a few weeks ago and we're in my fiancé's hometown to visit his family and discuss wedding-related stuff. His brother, sister-in-law and their daughter came over and I noticed this time that she was dressed a lot more androgynous than I remembered. The topic moved to wedding dresses and bridesmaid's dresses and I could see she was immediately uncomfortable. Her parents (her mum really) and grandma were making comments about how she'd need to be more feminine/ brush her hair
  • 03
    Font - In response, because that really hit a nerve, I immediately told her that my maid of honour would be wearing a trouser suit for the wedding and not a dress and that I'd given all the bridesmaids the option of wearing anything they want as long as it's in the "wedding colour", make things easier. I pulled out my phone and to started showing her photos of the ideas my friend had sent me (a jumpsuit, culottes, a trouser suit, a tailored tux etc) and let her know that she could pick anything
  • 04
    Font - My niece perked up a bit when I said that but her mum looked really pissed off. She's since asked my fiancé to pressure me into getting all the bridesmaids dresses so their daughter will have to wear one (which, lol, no). My husband doesn't give a shit what she wears, but obviously also doesn't want his family and me to be arguing on the wedding day. I don't want to back down because I know what it feels like to be pressured into wearing something that makes you uncomfortable, but on the
  • 05
    Font - billlevansatmarip Certified Proctologist [20] Definitely NTA. Don't back down. Stand your ground. Never in my life had I thought I would be urging someone to be a bridezilla. Please. Please. Be the bridezilla. Go full bridezilla. Edit: I don't know how all these awards go and the pink framing and all, but thanks to all who helped that happen. 35.7k Reply Share Extreme-Break-6638 OP · 9 hr. ago & 45 More Full bridezilla it is! 21.6k Reply Share ••. TategamiMaya 7 hr. ago I'm here for it -
  • 06
    Font - ago foozballisdevil · 9 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA take her shopping to get her wedding outfit so mom can't overrule you. Keep your nieces outfit at your place. 8.2k Reply Share •.. opinionswelcomehere · 7 hr. ago · edited 6 hr. ago This! Shopping with her will reinforce the support you are giving her. If there's any chance the mother might ruin the chosen outfit or try to force her into another keep it safe with you and let your neice come get ready at your place the day of the wedding
  • 07
    Font - Fun-Two-1414 · 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA She's 15 and is old enough to decide on how she would like to dress. You are being very reasonable by allowing her to be comfortable in what she is wearing, as long as it is meeting the wedding colour. The mum is an asshole for trying to make her daughter wear something that she would be uncomfortable. This would make her not enjoy being your bridesmaid and could also affect your happiness knowing that one of your bridesmaids are not hap
  • 08
    Font - ArbitraryAngelfish · 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. YWBTA if you went back on it now, for a couple of reasons. First, you'd be taking back your word to your other bridesmaids and forcing them all to be less comfortable to accommodate your BIL and SIL's bullying. Second, how would you have felt at that age when your family treated you that way and someone told you you were allowed to wear what you were comfortable in and then immediately turned around and did your family's bidding instead
  • 09
    Font - SufficientZucchini21 · 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] You are so right. It's not a fashion show. To put someone's comfort ahead of traditional garb and matchy-matchy crap is very nice of you. Sounds like her parents are the ones who need to work on themselves, not their daughter. NTA. 782 3 Reply Share ... BrownSugarBare · 7 hr. ago Partassipant [1] I personally think bridesmaids in suits and tuxes are actually quite fashion forward, if anything! The pictures are going to be fabulous an
  • 10
    Font - Backgrounding-Cat · 8 hr. ago Partassipant [3] NTA that niece is in need of trustworthy adult. Sudden switch to androgynous clothing when reaching age when sexual harassing becomes common... Yeah 593 Reply Share

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article